Google CEO speaks to a crowd of 6 at Stadia Funeral

The Crystal Golem Gazette was in attendance at Google Stadia's Funeral, which was open to the public, where we got to hear Google CEO, Sundar Pichai, speak on the matter.

"I'm so glad to see our whole community come to mourn the death of their favorite platform." Pichai said to the audience of six which included the press, "When you're on an unending quest to rule the world, you're bound to have some casualties. Unfortunately, Google Stadia was one of them. We couldn't capture the market that we hoped, and we needed to increase efficiency at Google, so we had to axe it. Who knew that having to re-buy your favorite games to play them with latency issues wouldn't sell well. Oh well, you win some you lose some."

Pichai then quickly left, getting into his luxury helicopter to go home to his billion-dollar mountainside mansion.